i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize