Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Success! We fucked roommates!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
