I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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