I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
