hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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