She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
