I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
then he tried to convert me to islam
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
