I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
