I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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