If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Boobs are out for the taking
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
