i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
