So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
