hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
