TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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