I feel like I'm in dance class right now
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
No subtext here. People are naked.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
