I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
