Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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