he thought i was a dude.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
We talked him into tasing himself.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
