i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
