I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
