I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
