I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
