Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
how do flat chested girls get laid?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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