What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
