the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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