I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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