I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
