Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
