it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
time to smoke my breakfast
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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