I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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