sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
if only i could text you this smell
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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