these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
