Buhtt sex?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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