I didn't shave. On purpose
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
