I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
