Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
