i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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