from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize