"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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