dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
thus making me awesome and them whores
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
