i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
