sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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