She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
