Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
