WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
