Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
