You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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