Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
