Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize