You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Dick very happy bro
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
