: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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