Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
