he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
