a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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