maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
