Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
