thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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