PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
