What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
